Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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