What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
