I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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