K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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