I could have mohawked her pubes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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