im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
