I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
