Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
