You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
