i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
