Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
