Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just googled if crying burns calories
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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