youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
