we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
