i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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