How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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