i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
home. puking in laundry basket.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
