I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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