The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize
