I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
