I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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