I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
