i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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