He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
