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I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
