is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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