Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
