You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
