are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
