So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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