i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
