im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
