I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
