Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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