I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
