Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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