I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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