I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i will never coherently bang her
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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