Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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