I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
they need to just BURY HIM!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
