i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
