I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
