i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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