Swine flu is the new snow day.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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