wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
