I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
