ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
