I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
