he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
