You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
