I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
