Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
